hi all!!!!!!!!!!!! (more by Jim)

Hey everyone! its been a while hasnt it? Well its time for me to report in and tell you a few things from my trip.

Drinking: Alcohol is so embedded in society here it aint funny! After a hard days work everyone goes to the local bar and tells each other about their successes, problems, stresses, relationship problems, "that girl is hot," news and events, polotical standing, comments and opinions. Its really, literally a great way to meet people......when they're drunk... :)

Smoking: A male dominant practice. Sure there are women who smoke but in public? No way. Its also a way to start a conversation, an invitation, an introduction and even a way to break down the uncomfortable stranger feeling. Accepting a cigarette is very important here in terms of human relations. Even if you dont smoke you light it up and leave it between your fingers while listening and talking.

I feel like a celebrity: I tell ya, you get that minor celeb feeling when you're walking around talking in english. Everyone stares and its a great way to pick up! >:) The whole celeb feeling comes from the same questions over and over again. Like:

1. Were you born in Australia? (nope)

2. How long have you been there? (17 yrs)

3. What's it like down there? (Kangaroos always tends to assault people on the street)

4. Do you have a girl friend? (not at the moment)

5. Do your parents live with you in Sydney? (my dad)

6. How much are the expenses over there compared to here? (more expensive in certain areas, food? no way.)

7. Do you have lots of foreugn friends or are they mostly korean?(i dont judge my friends by their race)

8. Do you know any koreans there? (yep)

9. Are there many koreans there? (yep, psychotic, every last one of em)

10. I might have to go to Sydney one day! You'll me treat well, right? (Why not?)

11. Do you WANT a girl friend? (I'm happy where i stand why? You making an offer?)

12. Could you sneak me in a suitcase? (Yeah sure-if they're good looking; Sorry, dont wanna pay overweight tax-to an ugly girl or any guy)

13. What are Australian girls like? (they're cool....some of em)

14. I heard there's a lot of racism in Australia, is this true? (this is thanks to Pauline Hanson during her reign of terror-yep, the news even reached here! >:)

15. Are there a lot of gays there? (a fare amount)

16. Have you been to nude beach? (nope, just seen it)

17. Do people really walk around naked over there? (my answer is: Well, it wouldnt be called nude beach then would it?)

18. Could you give me your email? (do you like porn? *grin* -looking at their blank expression) and then....

19. Yep i love that stuff! (if its a guy); Could you repeat that please? I didn't catch what you said (if its a girl) OR no thank you (if its a loser)

Well, that's that. On to my personal moments:

>>We had friends from the institute come over to our dorm to watch HuhJoon

>>(a popular drama), some girls wanted to use the toilet or take a shower.

>>(people come over all the time because we're the only dorm who had enough

>>sense to buy a TV, a vacuum cleaner and a laundry machine). ANYWAY, they

>>would ask "Can i use the bathroom?"

>>Then we would say: "Yeah sure, but remember the toilet will overflow if

>>you try to flush it, you have to leave the tap running for about 5 minutes

>>because the water is dirty and we have no hot water in the shower

>>whatsoever."

>>Their face expressions is enough for us to roll around on the floor

>>laughing. Laughing so much that we can't breathe for 5 minutes!! It's a

>>classic moment!!! :D

When our secretary came to me asking me to teach her some english, she asked about the crucifix necklace i was wearing. Not knowing that i just wear it cause it was a bday present, she asked me "Wow! Are you christian as well?" And i replied in english, "No. I'm a direct descendant of satan pretending to be a priest in the vatican. I've committed all EIGHT deadly sins and i have 60 wives who are all deprived nuns. Jesus can kiss my ass." Of course she didnt know what the hell i was talking about and she just nodded and smiled cause i was doing the same thing.

At the korean pizza hut: My colleagues and i went to pizza hut and it was my shout. I ordered about roughly $60 worth of stuff. The first thing i'd like to mention are the waitresses. THEY ARE MACHINES. I mean they literally say the same thing over and over again in different circumstances...

For example:

"Welcome to pizza hut. How many will be dining, sir?"

-uh 8 please

"Very good sir. Will you like to order now or after you look at the menu."

-uh... yeah...

"Very good sir. Will you like to order now or after you look at the menu."

-huh?

"Very good sir. Will you like to order now or after you look at the menu."

-oh, i'll look at the menu.

"Very well sir." goes away.

-Excuse me, miss?

"Yes sir? Would you like to order now?"

-Uh yeah....

"What would you like sir?"

-Yeah could i have 8 Pepsi's, three large pan super supremes and a spaghetti for the lady.

"Is that: 8 Pepsi's, three large pan super supremes and a spaghetti?"

-yep, spot on.

"Then sir i'll bring your: 8 Pepsi's, three large pan super supremes and a spaghetti, in approximately 15 minutes. Thank you sir."

-.....

"Sir, i have brought your 8 Pepsi's, three large pan super supremes and a spaghetti. Enjoy your meal sir. If you wish anything else please do not hesistate to call one of our friendly staff."

-cool why don't you just call me master and get it over and done with? You don't have to keep on repeating everything i ordered. *smiling*

"Sir, i have brought your 8 Pepsi's, three large pan super supremes and a spaghetti. Enjoy your meal sir. If you wish anything else please do not hesistate to call one of our friendly staff."

-They never quit do they? (talking to someone else)

"Sir, i have brought your 8 Pepsi's, three large pan super supremes and a spaghetti. Enjoy your meal sir. If you wish anything else please do not hesistate to call one of our friendly staff."

-.....uh, yeah. Thanks.

-wait whats that?

"Sir?"

-i ordered large pizzas not these midgets...

(Breaking into a cold sweat) "Sir, i have brought your 8 Pepsi's, three large pan super supremes and a spaghetti. Enjoy your meal sir. If you wish anything else please do not hesistate to call one of our friendly staff."

-Oh geez, i'm sorry, i'm just used to Australia's pizza hut, sorry...I didn't mean--

"Enjoy your meal sir. If you wish anything else please do not hesistate to call one of our friendly staff." (hurries off)

-jeeeeesus!

-conversation-

"sir? Would you like me to refill your glass with Pepsi?"

-huh?

"sir? Would you like me to refill your glass with Pepsi?"

-oh yeah, is it free?

"Yes sir."

-oh then in that case you may "refill my glass with coke."

"I'm sorry sir, we only have pepsi, 7up, orange miranda, rasberry miranda, lemon miranda, orange juice, pineapple juice and minerl water."

-.......Pepsi please....

"Very well sir. I will now refill your glass with Pepsi."

-Yeah-heh-heeeeeh thanks.

"Enjoy your drink sir. If you wish anything else please do not hesistate to call one of our friendly staff."

-Duh! (banging my head against the wall)

-we rise to leave-

-at cashier-

-how much?

"That would be 72,240 won, please."

-how much again?

"That would be 72,240 won, please."

-uh....

"That would be 72,240 won, please."

-so that would be....

"That would be 72,240 won, please."

-heh heh~ >:)

-give her the money-

"I have received 80,000 won."

-So you have.

"Here's your change sir, 7,760 won."

-what am i going to do with 60 won? I can't even buy a candy with this.

"Here's your change sir, 7,760 won."

-whatever. Thank you.

-as we leave- A chorus including the manager, waitresses and anyone else with line of sight-

"Thank you for eating at pizza hut. We hope you enjoyed your meal. Please come again."

-Aaaaack! :O

And finally...

On the plane: Oh stewardess, my safety belt isn't adjusting. (no this wasn't a sad pick up line for a blow job!)

"Could you please move your hands sir so i can adjust for you?"

-uh..yeah, sure.

"It seems to be stuck sir."

-uh.....

"hhhhkkk!"

-...ow, ow, owieee!

"Sir?" (worried look on her face)

-...You're tugging something else----gasp!

"Sir?!??!" (horrid look on her face)

-..my....belt... my BELT ON MY PANTS!!!

"Goodness gracious me!! I'm sorry sir! I'm terribly sorry!"

-lets go-

-That's okay, i mildly enjoyed it, i suppose. *pant-pant*

I don't have to mention i got excellent service from Korean Airlines thereafter.

Anyway sorry to keep you in the dark for so long. Hope you send me a reply soon!

Now for my finishing rhyme (Cindy knows what i'm on about)

Uuuggghhh---My eyes are baggy,

WHOAH! She definitely ain't saggy!

Bye!!

-JIM