S**t!

The exams are over, thesis handed in and with luck I've passed it all. Well, physiology study proved fascinating. As proof:
"..Then there is the strange case of the Penrose pattern and bum morphology. British mathematician Roger Penrose designed a unique geometric tiling pattern which, when applied to toilet paper, somehow made it feel softer. Manufacturers found the discovery so important that their attempts to impose it on the posteriors of the world are now the subject of a major legal battle. (They didn't ask him first.) "
I'm serious. Go see http://www.newscientist.com/sciencebooks/reviews/merde.html . I shit you not.

Transformers fan? Click here to download all sorts of goodies :)
Southpark fan? Download entire episodes here .

Only a couple of more days to go..

Well, its only a couple of more days until my thesis is due and the panic is all over. In the course of writing this monster of a report, my mind has been wandering aimlessly and come to some conclusions. For example:

Unix is is funny: Whenever you have to create a small temporary text file, call it 'poo'. This way, whenever you have to view the contents, you have to type:

cat poo

Which causes a great disturbance in the lab when you fall off your chair because you are laughing so hard.

Theses? They're marking them by weight?!?!

I've discovered that they're probably going to mark theses by weight. I thought I'd be getting a lot done with a 10-15 page report, but others I've talked to seem to think that a good minimum would be, oh, say 90 pages(!!). I'm off to have a minor heart attack, I'll see you at the other end.
In the meantime, click here to see how I'm gonna be so out of here this summer, on the menubar over to the left for Sil. E. Bugger III. Oh, yeah, and read this little thing about Shakespeare and listen to something about a boy called timmy :)

Spooky resemblance? Po, any explanation?

The 180 word challenge: A couple of years ago, Arthur C. Clarke was challenged to write a story in less than 180 words.. here's the story, I quite like it :)

Quarantine By Arthur C. Clarke

Earth's flaming debris still filled half the sky when the question filtered up to Central from the Curiosity Generator.

"Why was it necessary? Even though they were organic, they had reached Third Order Intelligence."

"We had no choice: five earlier units became hopelessly infected, when they made contact."

"Infected? How?"

The microseconds dragged slowly by, while Central tracked down the few fading memories that had leaked past the Censor Gate, when the heavily-buffered Reconnaissance Circuits had been ordered to self-destruct.

"They encountered a - problem - that could not be fully analyzed within the lifetime of the Universe. Though it involved only six operators, they became totally obsessed by it."

"How is that possible?"

"We do not know: we must never know. But if those six operators are ever re-discovered, all rational computing will end." "How can they be recognized?"

"That also we do not know; only the names leaked through before the Censor Gate closed. Of course, they mean nothing."

"Nevertheless, I must have them."

The Censor voltage started to rise; but it did not trigger the Gate.

"Here they are: King, Queen, Bishop, Knight, Rook, Pawn."

Gamer :)

Clan? Clan? What clan?!?!? Ledge and blah

Gamer by Pre-Shrunk (www.preshrunk.com) - this is one for all you half-life/counterstrike freaks out there :)

Parts of the brain! - just a little something I found on the 'net; anyone who has done any anatomy will find this amusing :)

"Why dont you take off your backward desire?!?!?"

Anyone who has ever seen an anime flick will know just how poor the psuedo-english lyrics are; however, they tend to be rather funny :)

"You are impassive to mate with yesterday
I am aggressive to wait for tomorrow.
Why don't you take off your backward desire?
That's wrapping you like a heavy coat to tire."

"Brave Souls" from the Anime Soundtrack Infostation

You'll have to thank Chelsie for this bundle of Japlish joy :)

Plus for all you H4x0r L0534S out there, here's an English to Leet translator. For those of you that can understand this pseudo-language, please, get a life.

HOT DOG!!!

hot dog!! This is so damn cute it hurts
The adventures of Sil.E Bugger!
My dog :D
More of my dog

More stupid stuff

Music videos: Yeppers, I've been wasting time that should have been spent on my thesis, and come up with a few gems:
Lobster magnet Ok, it makes no sense but it's a cack :)
Pokemon vs. Mindless Self Indulgence Yeah, this is weird too. I like it :)

Picture of the year!

The IG-Nobel prizes!

The 2000 IG-Nobel prizes are out.. especially take a look at the physics paper on the levitating frog! See it here.

Page redesign

Heya all once again :) The page has been redesigned AGAIN; hope u like it :) No more frames! All server side include stuff makes it look neat without too much effort - thanks Hiren :)

captin nod

hi all!!!!!!!!!!!! (more by Jim)

Hey everyone! its been a while hasnt it? Well its time for me to report in and tell you a few things from my trip.

Drinking: Alcohol is so embedded in society here it aint funny! After a hard days work everyone goes to the local bar and tells each other about their successes, problems, stresses, relationship problems, "that girl is hot," news and events, polotical standing, comments and opinions. Its really, literally a great way to meet people......when they're drunk... :)

Smoking: A male dominant practice. Sure there are women who smoke but in public? No way. Its also a way to start a conversation, an invitation, an introduction and even a way to break down the uncomfortable stranger feeling. Accepting a cigarette is very important here in terms of human relations. Even if you dont smoke you light it up and leave it between your fingers while listening and talking.

I feel like a celebrity: I tell ya, you get that minor celeb feeling when you're walking around talking in english. Everyone stares and its a great way to pick up! >:) The whole celeb feeling comes from the same questions over and over again. Like:

1. Were you born in Australia? (nope)

2. How long have you been there? (17 yrs)

3. What's it like down there? (Kangaroos always tends to assault people on the street)

4. Do you have a girl friend? (not at the moment)

5. Do your parents live with you in Sydney? (my dad)

6. How much are the expenses over there compared to here? (more expensive in certain areas, food? no way.)

7. Do you have lots of foreugn friends or are they mostly korean?(i dont judge my friends by their race)

8. Do you know any koreans there? (yep)

9. Are there many koreans there? (yep, psychotic, every last one of em)

10. I might have to go to Sydney one day! You'll me treat well, right? (Why not?)

11. Do you WANT a girl friend? (I'm happy where i stand why? You making an offer?)

12. Could you sneak me in a suitcase? (Yeah sure-if they're good looking; Sorry, dont wanna pay overweight tax-to an ugly girl or any guy)

13. What are Australian girls like? (they're cool....some of em)

14. I heard there's a lot of racism in Australia, is this true? (this is thanks to Pauline Hanson during her reign of terror-yep, the news even reached here! >:)

15. Are there a lot of gays there? (a fare amount)

16. Have you been to nude beach? (nope, just seen it)

17. Do people really walk around naked over there? (my answer is: Well, it wouldnt be called nude beach then would it?)

18. Could you give me your email? (do you like porn? *grin* -looking at their blank expression) and then....

19. Yep i love that stuff! (if its a guy); Could you repeat that please? I didn't catch what you said (if its a girl) OR no thank you (if its a loser)

Well, that's that. On to my personal moments:

>>We had friends from the institute come over to our dorm to watch HuhJoon

>>(a popular drama), some girls wanted to use the toilet or take a shower.

>>(people come over all the time because we're the only dorm who had enough

>>sense to buy a TV, a vacuum cleaner and a laundry machine). ANYWAY, they

>>would ask "Can i use the bathroom?"

>>Then we would say: "Yeah sure, but remember the toilet will overflow if

>>you try to flush it, you have to leave the tap running for about 5 minutes

>>because the water is dirty and we have no hot water in the shower

>>whatsoever."

>>Their face expressions is enough for us to roll around on the floor

>>laughing. Laughing so much that we can't breathe for 5 minutes!! It's a

>>classic moment!!! :D

When our secretary came to me asking me to teach her some english, she asked about the crucifix necklace i was wearing. Not knowing that i just wear it cause it was a bday present, she asked me "Wow! Are you christian as well?" And i replied in english, "No. I'm a direct descendant of satan pretending to be a priest in the vatican. I've committed all EIGHT deadly sins and i have 60 wives who are all deprived nuns. Jesus can kiss my ass." Of course she didnt know what the hell i was talking about and she just nodded and smiled cause i was doing the same thing.

At the korean pizza hut: My colleagues and i went to pizza hut and it was my shout. I ordered about roughly $60 worth of stuff. The first thing i'd like to mention are the waitresses. THEY ARE MACHINES. I mean they literally say the same thing over and over again in different circumstances...

For example:

"Welcome to pizza hut. How many will be dining, sir?"

-uh 8 please

"Very good sir. Will you like to order now or after you look at the menu."

-uh... yeah...

"Very good sir. Will you like to order now or after you look at the menu."

-huh?

"Very good sir. Will you like to order now or after you look at the menu."

-oh, i'll look at the menu.

"Very well sir." goes away.

-Excuse me, miss?

"Yes sir? Would you like to order now?"

-Uh yeah....

"What would you like sir?"

-Yeah could i have 8 Pepsi's, three large pan super supremes and a spaghetti for the lady.

"Is that: 8 Pepsi's, three large pan super supremes and a spaghetti?"

-yep, spot on.

"Then sir i'll bring your: 8 Pepsi's, three large pan super supremes and a spaghetti, in approximately 15 minutes. Thank you sir."

-.....

"Sir, i have brought your 8 Pepsi's, three large pan super supremes and a spaghetti. Enjoy your meal sir. If you wish anything else please do not hesistate to call one of our friendly staff."

-cool why don't you just call me master and get it over and done with? You don't have to keep on repeating everything i ordered. *smiling*

"Sir, i have brought your 8 Pepsi's, three large pan super supremes and a spaghetti. Enjoy your meal sir. If you wish anything else please do not hesistate to call one of our friendly staff."

-They never quit do they? (talking to someone else)

"Sir, i have brought your 8 Pepsi's, three large pan super supremes and a spaghetti. Enjoy your meal sir. If you wish anything else please do not hesistate to call one of our friendly staff."

-.....uh, yeah. Thanks.

-wait whats that?

"Sir?"

-i ordered large pizzas not these midgets...

(Breaking into a cold sweat) "Sir, i have brought your 8 Pepsi's, three large pan super supremes and a spaghetti. Enjoy your meal sir. If you wish anything else please do not hesistate to call one of our friendly staff."

-Oh geez, i'm sorry, i'm just used to Australia's pizza hut, sorry...I didn't mean--

"Enjoy your meal sir. If you wish anything else please do not hesistate to call one of our friendly staff." (hurries off)

-jeeeeesus!

-conversation-

"sir? Would you like me to refill your glass with Pepsi?"

-huh?

"sir? Would you like me to refill your glass with Pepsi?"

-oh yeah, is it free?

"Yes sir."

-oh then in that case you may "refill my glass with coke."

"I'm sorry sir, we only have pepsi, 7up, orange miranda, rasberry miranda, lemon miranda, orange juice, pineapple juice and minerl water."

-.......Pepsi please....

"Very well sir. I will now refill your glass with Pepsi."

-Yeah-heh-heeeeeh thanks.

"Enjoy your drink sir. If you wish anything else please do not hesistate to call one of our friendly staff."

-Duh! (banging my head against the wall)

-we rise to leave-

-at cashier-

-how much?

"That would be 72,240 won, please."

-how much again?

"That would be 72,240 won, please."

-uh....

"That would be 72,240 won, please."

-so that would be....

"That would be 72,240 won, please."

-heh heh~ >:)

-give her the money-

"I have received 80,000 won."

-So you have.

"Here's your change sir, 7,760 won."

-what am i going to do with 60 won? I can't even buy a candy with this.

"Here's your change sir, 7,760 won."

-whatever. Thank you.

-as we leave- A chorus including the manager, waitresses and anyone else with line of sight-

"Thank you for eating at pizza hut. We hope you enjoyed your meal. Please come again."

-Aaaaack! :O

And finally...

On the plane: Oh stewardess, my safety belt isn't adjusting. (no this wasn't a sad pick up line for a blow job!)

"Could you please move your hands sir so i can adjust for you?"

-uh..yeah, sure.

"It seems to be stuck sir."

-uh.....

"hhhhkkk!"

-...ow, ow, owieee!

"Sir?" (worried look on her face)

-...You're tugging something else----gasp!

"Sir?!??!" (horrid look on her face)

-..my....belt... my BELT ON MY PANTS!!!

"Goodness gracious me!! I'm sorry sir! I'm terribly sorry!"

-lets go-

-That's okay, i mildly enjoyed it, i suppose. *pant-pant*

I don't have to mention i got excellent service from Korean Airlines thereafter.

Anyway sorry to keep you in the dark for so long. Hope you send me a reply soon!

Now for my finishing rhyme (Cindy knows what i'm on about)

Uuuggghhh---My eyes are baggy,

WHOAH! She definitely ain't saggy!

Bye!!

-JIM

WORLD WAR 2 DUBBED IN CHIKIN\COW (more by Jim)

The second "MEAT" war was brewing even when the very first supamarket was established in the 1950-1960's. With the new world at dawn, two dominant forces were already in competition. There was always a rivalry between them. When one became domesticated, the other followed suit. Yes. These were the wars between the cow and the chikin.

When the supamarkets were established, the deli's were the frontlines in the "cold war." Humans bought beef and chicken by the thousands and in fact, pork was also a major power since they were reknowned by the heart federation. Pork was becoming a threat and so with the manipulation of the pork company "DON," pork was choked into vacuum packages and advertised by a fat irishman.

The forces tuna and salmon were also suffering. Like, their land meat counterparts they were also sold in deli's, but the major shadow governments of cow and chikin were secretly sending stink bomb raids and also letting in the flies. Humans, the drones that they are were gullable enough to believe that tuna, salmon and other sea meats were unhygenic and so the sea meats were forced tin cans and in adverts for wagon wheels. To this day, they still echo "eat the wagon wheel, eat the wagon wheel."

Meanwhile, the cow forces and chikin forces were clashing. Chikin were dominating Christmas as a favourite alternative to their allies, turkey. Easter was also perfect propaganda machine. The theory was simple: easter EGGS leads to CHIKIN. In the eighties, MacDonald's introduced breakfast meals known as McMuffins, and you guessed it. IT HAD EGGS. The fore-product of chikin were bombing beefs corner.

Similarly, beef were bombing chikin meats with their "lean beef campaigns." Fueled by allegences with the company McCain's, Lean beef seemed to be the slim alternatives. With the egg battles, the cow unleashed their secret weapons the dairy products. Cheese and milk were advertised like never before. Campaign after campaign, "a rich source of calcium." The consumers were happy. Chikin were nervous. Cow were becoming triumphant. Chikin signed the armistice in Cow's victory after the KFC incident.

Today, peace talks are on the way as the television show "COW/CHICKEN" started on cartoon network. Cow representatives are concerned in why chicken is the older brother. Then again, chikin representatives said," So what? Chikin in the series is always victimised. Plus your cow can become a super hero!"

Also, another concern is the other cartoon "I am weasel." Are weasel and baboon meats ready to take on the titans of cow and chikin? I leave that thought up to you...

JIM HAS HIS SAY

Theory on cows: part 1 of 10... by JHK

I am the alpha, the omega. The beginning, the end. I am the COW. And so, Beefuf climbed the great mount Cynide where he came back with ten udders in which each had a purpose.

The first, cheese then milk, cottage cheese, cream cheese, low fat cheese, chocolate milk, strwaberry and caramel. Swiss and blue cheese, the holiest of all products of the one true god......Dairy

ok..... next time i'll document the cold refridgeration war where chikin and cow were fighting for political and military supremacy in all supermarket shelves. Neutral forces such as tuna and salmon were hammered into tin cans and the oppressed pork wa s forced into vacuum packages.

FINALLY!!! AN UPDATE!!

Hullo all :D

Finally I've got off my bum and re-updated the entire webpage. I'm using evil frames; there's the navigation pane on the left (check out the neat drop down menus!!!) and the right pane for general browsing :D

There's a new colour scheme and style; let us know what you think


Cheers,
Captin Nod